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wizardboots

PORN SALE!!!

So you want to get your naughty on…but these days of a broken economy have you strapped for cash…well FANTASYLAND ADULT VIDEO has a stimulus package for you. This Monday…June 15th, these underdogs of the Portland adult scene will be hosting an unprecedented 50% OFF ENTIRE STORE SALE!!! That’s this Monday and the [...]

TRUCKER SPEED HOOLIGANS!!!

by wizardboots

TRUCKER SPEED HOOLIGANS is an upcoming film from yours truly, outlaw director Wizard Boots working as usual under the umbrella of the company that just keeps on giving, INVISIBLE GRIZZLY AGENDA. It’s a sort of no-budget Pulp Fiction by way of Pink Flamingos view of Portland’s seedy degenerate underworld….yes, there is one, in case [...]

06.12.2009 See the rest → 6 comments

NEW FLOOR!!!

by wizardboots

I’m proud to say that we’re starting to get all legit down here in sleazeville….our store’s front entryway (which used to look like an underground passageway to a card game run by the Russian mob….) has been repainted, re-illuminated and re-floored! Check out our kick ass new (simulated) hard wood floor. The front [...]

05.18.2009 See the rest → 1 comment

Porn Shop Diaries: Karma Police…I Need Backup!

by wizardboots

Perhaps it was the full moon last night, but Jeez-Looo-weeez, what a bunch of friggin’ animals…porn obsessed infants…inconsiderate, selfish, speed addicted parade of white trash douchebags….the bad ones know who they are and the good ones (like the lovely young couple who needed my advice on some toys for kinky experimentation…) were just few [...]

05.09.2009 See the rest → 1 comment

Boots Across America…

by wizardboots

Hey Portland!!! I’m home and pleased to announce that the first major cross country Wizard Boots tour was a success. The band was great, we had more fun than humans should be allowed and made a bunch of new friends everywhere we went. The further we travelled, the more people were curious about the mystique [...]

04.07.2009 See the rest → 2 comments

Porn Shop Diaries - It’s All About The Music Man…

by wizardboots

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I’m quite the DJ….this is the freaky porno sex shop where your experience is enhanced sonically. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I have quite the unhealthy obsession with music and I haul a back pack full of groovy booty bombs in here every damn [...]

01.11.2009 See the rest → 4 comments

Porn Shop Diaries - Cold Drives The Vermin In

by wizardboots

Porn Shop….4am on a Tuesday morning….I’m working hard. Just kidding….I’m screwing around on the old lap top. In my Red Bull fueled diligence, I almost don’t notice a large rat creeping under the front door and sniffing around. I’m not repulsed…..he’s adorable! I want to keep him as a pet….he could be the store [...]

12.16.2008 See the rest → 1 comment

Porn Shop Diaries - I’m Still Here

by wizardboots

As you can see I’ve been really busy the past few weeks (click ze link below for the whole story)…..what with time traveling in Tigard and documenting the whole process in a short film……but due to popular demand, I will attempt to bring you up to speed on my porn career.

Let’s see….I could tell you [...]

12.07.2008 See the rest → 10 comments

Porn Shop Diaries - Fantasy Island

by wizardboots

Porn store….6am….phone rings…..it’s a creepy guy who sounds like he’s hiding behind someone’s couch.
Creepy Guy: “Do you have an arcade with private viewing rooms?”
Me: “Yes we do.”
Creepy Guy: “How does it work? I mean like…how do guys….you know, like…hook up back there?”
Bullshit. This guy knows exactly how these things work.
Me: “If you hang out [...]

10.05.2008 See the rest → 6 comments

Porn Shop Diaries - The Loneliest Guy…

by wizardboots

Being a working rock musician and a smut king, I thought that I was the saddest, loneliest most hopelessly detached individual in Portland. Apparently not…..this guy comes in tonight and spends about ninety minutes closely inspecting every damn blow up sex doll in the store. I’m pretty thick skinned in this place by now, [...]

09.27.2008 See the rest → 6 comments

Porn Shop Diaries - Night of Jackassery

by wizardboots

I don’t know what was up with people acting like complete buffoons tonight….and it started before I even made through the front door! Walking in off the street some moron throws ice at me from a passing car….it misses me and hits a guy walking the other way. Maybe they actually intended to hit him [...]

09.13.2008 See the rest → 0 comments

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