Is being transportationally challenged ‘the new green’? If so, I’m way ahead of my time. Thanks to the diminutive size of my income, I realized a long time ago that I could either afford a place to live, or a car. (For a while, one was the other.) Since I chose a roof, I am now stuck with public transportation. While I’m appreciative of it, sometimes just being able to drive to the store would be nice.

On Sundays, it’s a half-mile walk to the nearest bus stop. I usually don’t mind, the exercise is good and the stroll peaceful. Since I have to haul everything back on foot, I try to plan accordingly. Today’s muggy weather called for ice cream, and Freddy’s had a sale on Ben & Jerry’s. I had a mission to accomplish. Soon I had a bagful of frozen munchies and was on my way home.

As the bus let me off, I heard the bus driver tell some juveniles, “Fireworks aren’t allowed on the bus.”

Hmm.

It makes perfect sense, it just didn’t occur to me. While I’m not one one to buy fireworks, how would I get them home if I did? The bus driver, sensing my thoughts, said quietly, “I suppose you could always hide them…” He smiled at me.

So, for heaven’s sake, if you score some legal fireworks, cover them up before you hop the bus or MAX. (If you’ve been to Washington, ahem, cover them up no matter what!) Since the TSA is probably reading this, thanks to the title, you guys can relax. I’m not a terrorist.

However, this whole 4th of July/ blow stuff up season got me thinking; how am *I* going to celebrate this year?

“Freedom isn’t free; there’s a hefty f***in’ fee,”

That’s right, freedom costs a buck o’ five.

I will celebrate by watching my favorite patriotic movie, Team America: World Police. How can you resist a movie that has for its ratings advisory: ‘Graphic crude & sexual humor, violent images & strong language, all involving puppets.’

Parked in front of the fan with a pint of B & J’s Americone Dream? That’s one patriotic way to spend a Sunday.

(Bleep) yeah!